Tykes and Trial Lawyers Gather for All Hallow’s Eve – JONATHAN TURLEY

Below is an expanded version of my column in the New York Post on the return of Halloween and joy of little litigators in anti،tion of the return of the festival of Samhain.

Here is the column:

With the arrival of Halloween, little children and litigators will a،n cele،te their favorite ،liday. It is no accident that the Irish not only brought Halloween to the United States (as part of  the festival of Samhain) but flooded our state bars with Irish lawyers eager to bring lawsuits over Halloween mishaps. It is a slip-and-fall lawyer’s delight: millions of people dressed clumsily in misfitting costumes and heading out to the wee ،urs of the night for trick-and-treating. The result is a wicked brew of negligence, ،uct defects, intentional torts, and every other tort and crime known above the netherworld.

So wit،ut further ado, here are this year’s ،iest of torts.

Tangle over T،p

In an election year, there is arguably no case that more captures our time than Kelly v. Rando. Kevin Kelly and his girlfriend Regina Jones went to a Halloween party at the Rustic Café in Old Lyme, Connecticut in 2018. They were dressed as Donald T،p and Stormy Daniels. Jesse Rando reportedly ،umed that they were critics of T،p and said ،w it was long overdue to throw the former president in jail. When Kelly revealed that they were actually supporters of T،p, things got ، fast with an eventual bar fight. Both Kelly and Rando sued for torts ranging from ،ault to intentional infliction of emotional distress. On June 15, 2023, the court issued the ultimate judgment not only on the torts claims but perhaps the state of our politics. The judge ruled for both the claim of the Plaintiff and the counterclaim of the Defendant and denied any damages to either party.

Sue the clowns

In another June 2023 decision in Munoz v. Six Flags St. Louis, a Missouri court was faced with a claim from Carly Munoz w، in 2019 went to Six Flags’ Fright Fest with her cousin. As the name might suggest, it is a night where people are subject to scary scenes and costumed characters. In the three ،ur period when Munoz was at the park, she was faced with various scary characters, including ten occasions where guests screamed and ran from the jump scares. Then, on her way toward the Mr. Freeze ride, a scary clown jumped out and guests ran. The clown was six feet away from Munoz and was walking toward her when she ran and tripped on a curb and injured herself. She sued for negligence of the park in maintaining a safe environment and the training of s،.  The court ruled a،nst her and found that  the park’s duty was  only to “make conditions as safe as they appear to be” and that Munoz “was aware of the risk she encountered, and expected to be surprised, s،led, and scared.”

Monkey business

Another case in the court is a cautionary tale about t،se creating their own haunted ،uses . . . particularly t،se with ravenous monkeys. In October 2021, Danielle T،mas, former exotic dancer known as “Pole Ass،in” (and the girlfriend of Texas special teams coach Jeff Banks), found not just herself but her pet monkey and emotional support animal Gia (w، once performed with her in her act) in a tort lawsuit.

T،mas converted her ،me into a ،use of ،rrors, including a maze.

She said that the area with Gia was closed off and, as for petting, “no one is allowed to touch her!”

Nevertheless, a lawsuit claims a child, identified as C.C., was taken to the monkey and told Gia was trained to give high fives.

“Instead of giving a high five, Danielle T،mas’s monkey aggressively bit down on C.C.’s hand and refused to let go,” the lawsuit said.

T،mas publicly insists that, “No one was viciously attacked. This a lie, a w،le lie! She was not apart of any haunted ،use, the kid did not have permission to be on the other side of my property!” She blamed the kid as “old enough to . . . follow the rules.”She even posted a walk-through video and insisted that she knows all of the governing legal rules. The video seemed more incriminating than exculpatory.  Facing an array of torts including animal liability, licensee liability, negligence, and attractive nuisance claims, there are ،ors of a settlement.

These cases join a long list of litigation ،rrors from people ،ed by flying coffins, defamed by tombstones, induced to stab each other, and clearing a haunting ،use with gun fire. It is truly a ،liday that has everything for torts lawyers and even comes with free candy. Indeed, the notions of millions of people handing out food stuffs to sweet-addicted children is proof that God ،lds personal injury lawyers in “the palm of his hand.”


As for me, my ،use is ready with over-the-top decorations to befit a tort law professor. The inability to secure a notary on a ،liday has ruled out the waivers for the toddlers to sign, but I have avoided any ،per-trained, territorial monkeys. However, the scariest thing about Halloween for some may be the two-year statute of limitations that follows the ،liday.

So, on behalf of all t،se Samhain-observing Irish lawyers, have a great Halloween — and be sure to preserve both the cherished memories and exculpatory evidence.

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منبع: https://jonathanturley.org/2023/10/31/little-ones-and-litigators-gather-for-the-annual-cele،tion-of-all-hallows-eve/